As I work on this site I keep finding myself worrying. I worry about the content, I worry about the reception that content will receive, I worry about the presentation of the content. In fact, the one thing that is guaranteed to occur when I log in to the administration panel of this website is that I will start to worry. Now I have realised this I have also realised this is a perfect example of where I need to practice. I need to practice mindfulness and breath meditation. I need to realise that, at the end of the day, it does not matter how this website is received, what matters is the practice I do whilst administrating it. What matters is the intent behind the website, and I must keep that in mind rather than worrying if someone is going to see the site and dislike it.
This is a prime example of becoming over-engrossed in something and becoming too attached to the outcome. The website is what it is. Obviously I do hope it will help someone, but I have found myself getting too attached to it; so I need to take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and relax. It is only a website… The world will not end if it goes down or is completely ignored.
Detaching oneself from the projects you have to, or want to, undertake is good, even necessary practice otherwise you will get too engrossed and attached to the outcome. This does not mean you should not care what transpires, but getting too attached can lead to stress, and stress is suffering. Stress is Dukkha. To be concerned yet detached from the project in mind allows one to approach the task with an openness that can lead to far better results than a mind will allow if it is tied up with undue worry and concern for the outcome.
So… I am not going to worry anymore… he says confidently! I will at least try to approach this site from a state of mindfulness in future, rather than buzzing around like a bee in a jar wondering what on earth I am going to put up next. This is a Buddhist blog after all, and it really does not need half a dozen updates each day. I will be, or at least intend to be, mindful of the content rather than worried about it.
May you all live in peace.